Everybody:

I've seen more posting resently about Post-HT concerns for people "finding out" and how you look in general. I'd like to relay some of my experiences on this matter and see if that helps other people out who are worried about this.

There are many different strategies on how to deal with this. None is really right or wrong. You just have to be comfortable with your decision on how to deal with it once it is made.

Some people will announce that they've had work done to others before being asked. Some will answer honestly when asked directly about it. Others will be evasive. Others will flat out lie.

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My Approach

I decided that I didn't want to make it public that I had an HT. I didn't want to lie about it either, and promised myself that I'd answer any honest, direct questions about it truthfully. I'd try to incorporate humor and take the edge off things whenever I could. At some level, the whole idea of moving some hair and it changing your life is actually pretty funny, I think. I, like most people, feared a situation when someone is sort of "grilling" you, and it is CLEAR that their motives are to expose or belittle you. Fortunately, I haven't really run into that.

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My Experiences

Post HT I had the luxury of taking two weeks off and relaxing. I went to a New Year's Party with my stitches in about 10 days post op and no one said a word. Some of my transplanted hair had fallen out and my scalp wasn't very red. I also had a dinner about 7 days post op that I attended and no questions there either. These were with folks I hadn't seen in a long time, though.

About 3 weeks post op, I had my stitches out an a military physical to go to. And it was one of those where a whole bunch of people were processed at the same time including many people I knew. I'd say my hair was about 1" everywhere, but tapered off my ears and neck. I can say again that no one said a word to me. The scar was pretty well concealed (but still quite red). I was pretty nervous this close to the op date and this many people seeing me and getting a physical. But it turned out to really be a non-event.

Work -- no one ever said a word. About 3 months post op when I had part of my scar worked on, I returned to work the day after and my stitches were visible so I just came out and said I had a scar worked on. People said, "I didn't know you had a scar there", and such. What was really funny about the whole situation is that I really couldn't laugh too hard those days because my scalp was feeling tight. So of course my coworkers tried to make me laugh at every chance they had. The whole thing was really funny, thinking back on it. Maybe some people thought "something else was actually up", but who knows for sure? They didn't confront me about it.

I think about 2 months post op, I went to a party and the topic of hair and facial features "magically" came up, as well as the topic "some people just need hair". That seemed to me to be a little more than a coincidence. But the conversation was quite harmless and I stayed in it for its duration. Again, I didn't say I had an HT, but I was expecting some questions and none came.

A month ago, I went to a party and a friend who I hadn't seen for about 6 months was very upfront and said, "whoa, you look way different. What is going on with your hair". I thought this was when I'd tell him about it and I'd like to report that I was completely at ease with this, but honestly, I was not because of his very direct style. Quite funnily, though, his wife interjected almost immediately and said, "leave him alone. He's just grown his hair longer." Then she comes up and runs her fingers through my hair and says, "It really looks a lot better." Man, I could have kissed her not so much for "saving me", but for reminding me in no uncertain way that the ends justied the means and who they hell cares what the methods used were.

I was watching a video tape some friends and I made of a party we had. I had the "shaved look" going on and was quite bald in that footage. One guy said, "short hair really looked like shxt on you". I agreed with him. I couldn't believe the metamorphisis that basically I was seeing before me. Again, no one else pressed the issue. I wondered if they were as astounded as I was watching the footage.

Finally, the other night I was at a get together and a couple of people said, "wow, I've never seen your hair that long" and "I hardly recognized you". Again, I said, "Yeah, this is the longest it's been in years." And that was it. And all the while thinking, "yeah I know I went from 'what the fxck' to 'that's not that bad'." Funny how all that works.

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A Final Few Words

Anyway, this is how I dealt with some experiences I had.

I think with me, the process was made easier because I always wore my hair so short( shaved to 3/4" long), and now that I wear it at 1/2" to 1" long, people just equate the regrowth as just me wearing my hair longer.

But, the fact still is that you DO LOOK BETTER is always your Ace in the Hole. Never forget that you are holding that card. Looks count. Enthusiasm counts. Confidence counts. And accepting your decisions as "said and done" and being happy with them counts tremendously too.

Again, a long post. And hopefully helpful to some who seek answers here. These are some things that happened to me.

vocor1
Knowledge is Power
If the worst question is the one never asked, then the worst answer is the one never shared.

vocor1,

Great post. It was interesting reading your chronology of events and how the different situations worked out.

I recently attended my high school reunion (I was three months post-op at the time) and no one said a word. I brought it up with one person because I thought another classmate had a HT and wanted a second opinion. Before I asked this third party, I told him I had one and was comparing work. We never reached agreement and I never approached the other person as circumstances just didn't allow for it.

Thanks for sharing. Your insights are helpful.

Mr. T

Vocor,

Thanks for that post. Describing actual situations that arose along with your thoughts at the time is probably more helpful than any specific advice will ever be. What comes through is that, while it was uncomfortable sometimes, you survived fully intact. You didn't have a rigid plan for every situation, but just dealt with it as it came. I think it's good for others to hear that. It's not always easy, but they'll be alright in the end.

Just another observation about all of this. It's funny how if someone hits the gym hard and loses fat to improve their appearance, we think it's great. But, we feel uncomfortable about what others might think of doing something to get a better head of hair. I think face lifts, rhinoplasty, liposuction, laser resurfacing and the like, also seem more acceptable with the general public than hair transplants. And, I think surgery to improve appearance seems more acceptable for women than to men.

Paul

My Surgery With Dr. Sharon Keene

Yes, excellent post Vocor. I've always liked your attitude. Being one week post-op, that's exactly what I plan on doing- not announcing to everyone, but if it comes up, I'll tell them. What are they gonna do? Besides, I know they will flip when they see what it looks like in a few months.

Ok I have a funny story:
On the plane ride home I was talking to the guy sitting next to me. He was in his late 60's, and said he'd lived in Italy and Yugoslavia, but now lived in Phoenix. He had a pretty strong accent, which made our conversation a little difficult at times. He asked what I was doing in Seattle, and I told him that I'd had a HT. (I was wearing a hat) His eyes kept going from my face up to my head so I thought I'd show him, since I wasn't sure if understood exactly what I was saying. I lifted my hat up for a few seconds, and this guy looked like he'd seen a ghost! He stared off in opposite direction for about 20 seconds and I assured him that I was OK, and in no pain. I thought he would be amazed but I guess I was still too much in the scabby phase!!
Moral of the story: You'll be OK after you're healed a bit but go easy on 'em for the first couple of days!!!

thanks for the feedback. Hopefully, sharing these experiences will take some of the anxiety of the whole situation off the noobs.

Paul:
Yeah, there is certainly less tolerance for guys doing cosmetic things. No doubt, some will think you are vane or a wimp. We are supposed to be tough and take it. But if you aren't quite achieving what you wanted in life, then I say you'd better make a change. There isn't much excuse for not achieving what you want.
So let a few gossip or speculate. The feedback I've already gotten has been positive. Doesn't mean I'm absolutely 100% comfortable with the fact that I felt I needed an HT. But the fact is, I'm getting the results I had hoped for.
And that is much better than regretting not trying to do something, I feel.

vocor1
Knowledge is Power
If the worst question is the one never asked, then the worst answer is the one never shared.