Hi all
I`ve been speaking to David via pm and have encouraged him to post his experiences publicly to ask the members for advice and support.

David has asked me to post his original pm to me for all to see.I trust the members may hopefully offer David the advice,help and support he needs.

Davids pm
Posted March 23, 2008 03:05 PM
Hi,
Only just joined this site and spent a few nights reading post and looking for hope (unsuccesfully) -like you I have been to DHI -my first visit was sept 04 and I had chest hair implanted about 800 hairs scatterred over my nw7 head (shaved at back +sides to the skin)it took me 24hrs to pluck up courage to look at it and when I did it looked stunning!! - I looked 19 again -well for about a week -had 2 more visits since and altogether about 4000 hairs , got about 350/400 left and less every day .
Now ive no hair no money ,owe money still because of loans taken out and i am on verge of ending it -nearly sectioned last week.
All my hope for a life has gone I cannot look in a mirror without feeling sick. Hair transplant Doctors if honest would be like shops - free for 12 months then after that you should pay for the number of new hairs growing!
Even if I had money Id not want to travel again its so embarassing coming through customs. Just living day to day now ,sorry to have droned on but just needed to vent what I feel with someone who looks like they been through it - ta

David

:::::::::::::::
Davids second pm with some personal bits edited out.

Thanks for replying - I dont take photos of my head because I avoid looking at it I cover it with a cloth when shaving so I dont see the vast baldness- there is nothing left hope wise for me i`ve not slept for a couple of days and last week went 4 days and nights without sleep even taking pills -my head has destroyed me and those around me - Im now in dept as well . I know looks arnt everything I have a great looking girl who is happy how I am but Ive just 20mins ago admited I dont think I will see out the week im so distressed , thanks for taking time to reply I speak to guys who tell me its no problem but they all have lots of hair so it just sounds hollow.
Its not as if I wanted lots of hair I was realistic ,I just wanted light stubble all over - id even be happy with no hair if my head was the same 5 oclock shadow all over and not just the sides and shiny on top

David

This is my signature (chucky)at the bottom of the post.

David

Going bald really sucks bud , every guy on this site ,whether they want to admit it or not has felt low , pissed off or depressed over they hairloss , it's not shallow it's how it effects us all as individuals .

The biggest problem that effects us personally is the complete loss of control over losing our hair , our crowning glory , it makes us feel young , attractive and each morning we see it getting thinner and thinner , we become obsessed and it starts to take over your life , mirrors ,lighting , wind , rain all the fucking time thinking how will this effect me , my hair style , the product i use , will somebody comment today ................. fuck me the list is endless and every guy on this site has , sometime or other felt like you have .

You have to start to take control again , you tried to regain your hair the only way you knew , you felt great when you saw that hair , not just because you had some stubble but because you did something about it , that makes us feel in control like we could take on the world , your proceedure hasn't worked and you quite rightly feel aggrieved .

I can only pic up so much from your pms to chucky so i hope i understand things right for you , you say you have no more donor hair left and are heaverly in debt ,these things cannot be changed , you can't do anymore than you have done , you have to start to take control of this predicament that is not your fault .

Please take a deep breath and think of that good looking girl who loves you , think how devastated she would feel if anyhting happend to you , think of your mum and dad , your family , if your feel paniced and have the tight feelings in your chest , sit down and take a deep breath , take a minute to calm yourself and slow your brain down , take control .

After all the obsessing we do over hair or appearence just try to remember that other people don't see us as we see ourselves , most people don't even notice our baldness , that's one good thing about our human race , we're all so self obssesing that many of us don't even notice anyone elses issues , thats just human nature .

You mentioned sleep deprivation in your pm , that really fucks with our minds and will cloud your thoughts , you will feel like you've lost control and have a million things wizzing through your mind , unable to make sence of any one thought ,if it helps you get through one day at a time make a list of thing you would like to get done that day , take as many time outs and deep breaths as you need my friend and think of that lovely girl waiting for you back home , smiling , you see the good thing about girls is all they ever want is a smile and a cuddle .......

David I hope you can take something away from what i've said , try to take back control of your life , see how comfortable you feel trying to accept your situation and that you won't let this curse rule your life anymore .

Good luck my friend

richie

Hi David

I hope you are feeling better today as you`ve taken the first step in trying to deal with your situation by allowing myself to post your hair transplant experience.

I see Falc replied on the DHI post to you with words of encourage and help and also Richie on here.I hope other members offer their help to you here.

I know you say you dont want to see your head but if you could find it in yourself to post a picture of your transplanted area and remaining donor area on your head there may be something that can be done to help you out.

If i can help anymore or you just want to talk feel free to pm me again.

Try and stay positive.

David,

You are not alone mate!!!! There is a community here who are only too happy to help mate - We have all been in the depths at some point and I appreciate you are in the thick of it right now bud. Trust me when i say though that there is help out there - I was so down that lost friends and even a fiancee through this nightmare of hairloss and poor surgery and as a consequence was on anti depressants and lived under a hat so i have been there mate.

I am more than happy to help you in ANY way i can - If you are based in the UK (Stockport) please do not hesitate to contact me as will gladly meet up with you as not far away at all! - I help many guys out if only as a sounding board to help off load.

Chucky please inform Dave if you speak to him that we are all here to help in anyway we can

Morning Guys,

Thanks for the messages they do help, I just cant control my body ,cant sleep, eat my head is just full of thoughts of how to end it ,im very distressed- I probaly do have a little donner hair left as I shave the back and sides completly and only want a buzz cut appearance anyway . I dont trust the hair industry anymore and it has taken away my hope. yesterday I said goodbye to my parents and my girlfriend becouce I believed that id end it all during the night-my body is beating itself up, I hate what this has done to me but even worse is what its doing to those who love me but just feel so helpless-thanks guys -just needed to get off my chest
David

Thats what this community is here for mate - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!

Seriously just take time out to see the MANY guys here who can offer valuable help mate - We have been where you are at mate trust me!

This communtiy you have found is a fantastic source of support and knowledge. You are 110% not alone and the numerous helpful guys here will only prove that together we can all help you mate

David

You should probably talk to someone. It makes me feel better whenever I talked about my MPB issue in the past. There is hope, meds, technology and there are some GREAT docs out there that care.

Riight now you need to stop focusing on your baldness. FORCE yourself to go to a movie, out for a run, etc..Granted I did not like my hairloss but there are far more serious issues to be concerned about..

Just try to focus on the positive aspects in your life rather that the 1 negative that is on your mind.. There is certainly more to life than hair

quote:

Riight now you need to stop focusing on your baldness. FORCE yourself to go to a movie, out for a run, etc..Granted I did not like my hairloss but there are far more serious issues to be concerned about..

Great advice - If only for 1/2 an hour try get your mind elsewhere as its powerful and can consume you.

Dave check you PM mate as i will give you my number - feel free to call me mate - Do not feel in anyway becuase i am assosiated with a Clinic that i will try and SELL you something. - Far from it!! This industry is FU@KING brutal!!! - I know better than most as been there and worn the t shirt !

I am here to talk mate as i am sure i can help if only to allow you to vent to someone that understands!

Thanks to you all -this is about the 5th time in 20 years ive got to the suicidal stage I like to go to the gym and that has saved me in the past but just now cant sleep,eat etc so gym out of question also just had a hernia op gone wrong! Its far worse this time becouse ive no hope left ive tried lotions ,potions and transplants and feel like the elephant man , now ive even trown away the love of my life cos I just so down -im ashamed that I cannot find the inner strenght that others like me must have along with guys with deformities etc or missing limbs
thanks David

hi david,sorry to read about your situation,i think if you can find the courage to post a pic or 2 it will help us to understand where your at.also it will probably give you some relief(problem shared sort of thing).
i too have suffered at the hands of depression although not as bad as you,have you seen a professional about this?i thought my hairloss may have caused my depression but now i think some people are just prone to becoming"low"and the baldness just becomes another thing to worry about.
my advice,post some pics, i bet your blowing the situation out of proportion due to your illness,youll get honest and sensitive responses from the guys on here.also if you havent already,go to your gp and demand some help!
good luck mate,keep us posted.

David,

I posted this on another thread, but I'll post it here also in case you missed it.

David,

I understand your concerns about your hair, but PLEASE do not consider ending your life over it. There is much more to life than hair, and though we would prefer to have a nice full head of hair, many bald men have very attractive girlfriends who love them very much. Hair is nice, but it does NOT make the man.

Have you contacted DHI about this? What did they say?

If there is anything I can do to help support you, feel free to drop me a private message.

Falc

David,

If your mind is truly in such a flux that you are seriously considering suicide...you absolutely must contact someone immediately and tell them this, explicitly....any close family, health professional, et al.

No doubt you can survive what you are going through if you take the right steps in the right direction.

david, there is a community here that can and will support you with the hairloss concerns. but i do think if you have been suicidal 5 times that you NEED to get some help. please contact someone and get yourself some treatment for your depression. we want you to live and get healthy, and then we can help you sort through the hairloss.

Hi David
I hope you are feeling better today with all the encouragement the members have given you.

I see Spex has offered to help,he is a great guy and has helped many unhappy people in similar situations to yourself.

He does not live that far from Stockport and i`m sure he would meet you to have a chat about your unfortunate situation you are in.

Take care mate and dont lose hope.

Thanks for all your support guys- yes I am under the doctor and on sleeping pills and anti-depression pills + am on waiting list for counciling but its a 18 mth- 2yr waiting list ,im going to ask the company I work for if they will sort me out privatly they have done for other staff.
I think why it has hit me hard is becouse even as a child I was obsessed with my hair -it was plentyfull but awfull and never looked good (should have just buzzed it)I started to loose my hair at 18/19 yrs and as you guys know this is not nice, at about 22yrs of age I buzzed my hair I was then sacked from my job as my hairstyle did not fit the company image!! -I was very upset as can image and did not work for a couple of months so had to sell my house and move back with my parents ,I ended up staying 20 years I now live in a pokey studio apt (rented)Ive tried everything before my transplants - minoxodil ,finesteride ,fish extract pills ,a machine for tipping you upside down (bet some remember that?)
When I first had my transplant I was so impressed I felt on top of the world it was so impressive I only had 800 or so body hairs on a n/w7 but my chest hair is much darker and better quality than my scalp hair and so looked great as a buzz cut look is all I want and as I shave the back and sides like my face the diff coloured hairs do not matter -as I shave it all from the back and sides in theory I can use it all as doner hair if it worked.
My hair grew for the first few months after all 3 transplants but not much there now and I keep them buzzed on 0.
thanks again guys it mean a lot right now
David

David, I sent you a PM

Hi David
Just to clarify your situation was your whole procedure with DHI body hair or did they use donor hair from your head for your second/third procedure.

I only ask as forum posters elsewhere who have heard of your terrible situation have been asking these questions out of concern for you.

I hope you are ok and as you say you are on a waiting list for councelling but i feel if you met one of the guys who have offered you help it would do you the world of good.

Speak soon mate.

Hi Chucky,

Yes only the first session was body hair approx 800 grafts on a nw7 ,I know thats not a lot but my chest hair looks thicker and far darker than scalp hair and it did look very inpresive on the front half of my head(none placed further back than crown) ,about half fell out over the next six weeks but some grew very well I was cutting them every few days to keep buzz cut look . My look at 4 months was far better than at 8 months .
Ive since been back twice for scalp hair as I thought this may work better (when ur desparate you just want that hope)now im 9 months after last op and again looking worse than 4 months -not really got what you would call any cosmeticaly usefull hair any ive got is fine and vellus - in fairness I just been to me parents and used there magnifing mirror to look at the crown and back and I can see quite a few hairs there that dhi placed as I asked for a couple of hundred there so that even if not really show it breaks it up a bit.
Im trying to keep myself going by kidding myself that after 9 months I may still have lots of hair to grow.
Im realistic on what I wanted and thats a covering of stubble all over rather than just an expance of baldness , I call it designer baldness!
thanks again guys
David

Hi mate
I`m glad you`re posting about your experience more openly as its good toopenly talk about it.

Have you contacted DHI to see what they have to say about your poor results.

I had a poor result from them three years ago and they look as though they are not improving,at least not in Greece.

Is it still Norman Lambert who consults for them.

I e-mailed twice but heard nothing then did not bother ,I suppose I dont want to admit 3 have failed or ive only had 10% growth becouce that is so final and im trying to kid myself it will suddenly grow (sad I know) .I think you meant Lorriane Lambert not Norman and I have seen her but I think she is mainly in Ireland now I saw a guy called Piet who seemed a really top guy in fact I liked all I met just a pity ive nothing much to show
David